You despair about the banks. Another Big Fat Worm found in the can of worms that is casino banking.
Official North Korean News Agency reports:
The were astonishing scenes at this year’s North Korean Politician of the Year Award at Pyongyang City Hall on Tuesday as ailing Valleys’ Supreme Leader Kim Il Mun was awarded the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award. The team of judges, De Nis Bal and Som – reached an unanimous decision to honour the man hailed in his own mind as nothing short of divine.
The assembled crowd of admirers wept openly as the customary eulogy was given by Mer Fin Jons, supremo of the national broadcasting conglomerate. In an openly sycophantic outpouring of praise, a tearful Mer extolled Kim’s countless virtues, prostrating himself on the stage at regular intervals during the four-hour speech as he recalled, repeatedly, for the benefit of those at the back of the gargantuan People’s Palace, how Kim had graciously promoted him to the exalted position of Commissar of the North Korean Broadcasting Corporation (NKBC) and Minister for Propaganda and Public Enlightenment.
Mer went on to recall how he had enjoyed many a climb as Kim’s sherpa and guide on the North Face of the Holy Mountain of Sno-Don, the country’s most sacred peak when the Great Leader had been able to tear himself away from his duties maintaining world peace as chairperson of the UN Security Council.
As the Commissar’s speech drew to a close, the stage was engulfed as wave upon wave of weeping admirers surged forward to offer their congratulations to the Great Leader. An ugly riot was prevented by the timely intervention of the elite People’s Guard who fired repeatedly over the heads of the crowd. Few fatalities were reported. Calm was finally restored and Kim Il Mun was able to receive the customary standing ovation, which continued for a record 49 minutes and thirty seconds – new record.
It was announced that Kim is to be honoured with a 20-times lifestyle bronze statue to be erected in the Square of the Half-starved Serfs in central Pyongyang.
“It was all orchestrated by the dreaded secret police, the Hed Lu,” said leading dissident and pro-democracy campaigner Dae Kwm Skwt. “There was no standing ovation at all; in fact many, including influential Pyongyang dissident Roy Jay Tho Mas walked out in disgust.”
Indeed, Kim is known for his opposition to granting increased powers to the subjugated Cym Ry minority, conquered and annexed several hundred years ago. Despite centuries of oppression and the almost total exploitation of their natural resources the Cym Ry have never lost their identity or their dream of one day becoming a free nation once again.
“It’s ironic that Kim is actually one of the Cym Ry,” Dae added, “He started out as a firebrand socialist but has now joined the gang of imperialists and power-hungry fascist tycoons in the capital. Kim advocates centralised state authority and the brutal oppression of any nationalist or secessionist dissidence.”
“As with so many similar situations Cym Ru is the most deprived and economically inactive area of this divided and failing state.”
Oh dear, oh dear! Pass the sick bucket. Please keep the comments clean, folks. On second thoughts, don’t.
‘KINNOCK BACKS ED!’ scream the headlines. A sense of déja vu? A vague frisson of ‘we’ve been there before’? Well, of course, we have. Remember the Screwloose fiasco just a few months ago and the pathetic hissy fit by Huw Lewis and his whingeing acolytes before poor old Screwers was soundly thrashed by Carwyn Jones in the Welsh Liebour leadership elections? Well, you will also remember that we wrote in Cambriapolitico at the time that one of the chief contributory factors to Screwloose’s defeat, something which sounds like an eerie echo from the tomb of 1980s politics – was The Kinnocchio Factor.
Almost certain demise of Ed’s quest
Yes it’s here again, but then you can’t keep a good windbag in a state of deflation for long. He just can’t help putting in his twopennyworth. The self-important magniloquent Baron of Bedwellty, replete with the usual pseudo-avuncular bombast and flimflammery is at it again, thereby ensuring the almost certain demise of Ed Miliband’s Labour leadership quest. Which prompts the question: is Kinnock actually a closet supporter of brother Dave?
Graham Henry (Eh?!) of the dear old Western Mail (God bless it, as we must now say) commented: “Lord Kinnock’s backing for Ed is a setback for his brother, former Foreign Secretary David” which reveals a huge and staggering dollop of political naiveté given the Baron’s miserable record. Certainly such a comment wouldn’t have come from the pen of saintly, national treasure, Martin Shipton – one of the few commentators at the WM with real political nous.
Kinnock intervention nail in coffin of Ed’s dream
As anyone in Wales with any political intelligence will have gathered, Kinnock’s unwelcome intervention is actually a serious nail in the coffin of Ed’s dreams, and one hell of a boost for his lugubrious brother David and the bouncy little Mr Balls.
It seems that a huge majority of WM readers would agree. The WM’s online ‘Quick Vote’ box posed the question “Will Neil Kinnock’s backing help Ed Miliband to become Labour leader?” A spindly 15.28% said ‘Yes’, while a vigorous and informed 85.72% voted a resounding ‘NO’!
[IMPORTANT LEGAL NOTE: The terms ‘Screwloose’, ‘Screwers’ and other jocular and whimsical terms or epithets in this article are employed in a purely satirical sense and make no personal implications / insinuations / aspersions / assertions etc as to the mental condition, intelligence, personal propriety, morals, religious inclinations of any persons alive or dead etc etc etc……..]
Cartoon courtesy of Henry Jones-Davies
It might amuse some of you to guess what Carwyn Jones is thinking/saying in this photo.
Hat tip for photo: Simon Dyda
To start you off: ” My ego is this big …”
Ed. errmm … keep it clean boys!
Who are we thinking of? You know who you are.
Who is Look Luke Holland?
‘The unsmiling svengali behind Screwloose’s campaign….’. ‘Is Luke the Rasputin to Huw and Anne’s Nicholas and Alexandra….?’ ‘Is he Dutch…or is he Georgian? – just who is this enigmatic Machiavelli whose very name strikes dread into the hearts of erm……his own Party!?…..this media magus, this augurer of the airwaves, this thaumaturge, seer and sorcerer who is leading his idol so deftly and so brilliantly to almost certain disaster victory in Labour’s leadership armageddon?????????????’
Is he (gulp) a manifestation of Jonah’s Curse?
The Right Honourable Paul Murphy MP for Torfaen is complaining that the political water is too hot for him in his taxpayer paid residence and he has allegedly claimed expenses to have it seen to. You know where to put one of Jacqui’s 88p bathplugs.
Here’s another nasty, tasteless cartoon from the pen of Cambriapolitico’s resident caricaturist Silfanws. From the ‘What a Parcel of Rogues in a Nation’
This item is available out of stock on the John Lewis list.
You might also be interested in this excellent cartoon courtesy of Charon. Click on for larger image.
A good pictorial summary of the scams is … here